A primer for some obscure computer technology terms

Camelcase: Anything referencing an animal is intrinsically humorous. But this one is a double threat because it's ominously close to being vulgar, and can be a crackup when someone misspeaks at a team meeting. I worked with a developer once who could barely contain himself in conversation when someone dropped the C bomb.

Fred: I think we should be less careless about all lower case vs Camelcase variables.
Him: Heh. Camelcase.
Fred: Camelcase. Yes. Camelcase.
Him: Heh.
Fred: It's not the same thing asCameltoe.
Him: Heh. You said Cameltoe.

Closure: what you will never get with a javascript programmer who argues that it is going to be the future of the Internet. See also dotNetheads.

Delegation Pattern: the tendency to ask the junior developer to do the work instead
Destructor: far less fun than it sounds

Autocorrect: Doesn't.

GUI: What your computer becomes after you spill your coffee on it.

Keyboard: Standard tool used to generate computer errors.

Mouse: Advanced input device to allow more rapid generation of computer errors.

Magic Numbers: So named because if you run into one of these whilst debugging, POOF, there goes the rest of the morning.
OOP: What you will eventually say (OOPs, shouldn't have hired him) if you hire anyone whose resume scatters this acronym liberally on their r

State-of-the-art: Someone else's computer.

Obsolete: Your computer

Microsecond - The time it takes for your state-of-the-art computer to become obsolete.

System Update - An automated method of to allow the trashing of all of your software at once

YAGNI and LACY: You Ain't Gonna Need It, and Losers Always Criticize You