In which the author demonstrates that he is getting too old to identify ...

When I was young, if you needed a Gigabyte of memory, you had to sneak into every home in North America and steal if from all of the computers. Back then, we made do with 4K. If you were extravagant, or if you were a power user, you bought the 16K expandable memory slot. That was plenty for your needs. And  when you programmed, you wrote the line numbers first. We didn't have any of this fancy pants object oriented tomfoolery. We had gosubs. If we were lucky. Otherwise, goto had to suffice.

When I wrote my first lines of code in 1983, Agile programming meant that you had to be quick enough to duck the eraser being thrown at you by the cool kids across the hall. A scrum was still something reporters did, and a class map told you how to get to History 12 in time.

Back then, a closure was something you got after breaking up with your girlfriend, and you usually found it at the bottom of a bottle of beer. An event listener was someone who pressed their ears against the door while the parents argued downstairs. A delegation pattern was the way that your older brother always made you do his chores.

Back then, if you tried to right click a mouse, it bit you. 

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